Who am I

Look at it. A year's of silence and not knowing what just happened to me.. Strange. But what?? Struggles with God, with friends.. Non-christian ones.. Don't know why they love to give me the most trouble.. Struggling with 'manly issues', sexual impurities, crude words. Struggle with unconditional love, relationships, accountabilities. Struggle with everything, anything, that man made.

Should I just sit back, lock myself in my room, with one-to-God's privacy and cry out.. "GOD SAVE ME.. AGAIN!"

What I'm going to share with you will be the days I've struggled and experienced. I'm jotting down, the LAST 35 days of my working life with the army. The pain that someone of you need to know. All that burdened me for 2yrs.. A bondage that was never broke free..

Last Monday was strange. I picked up my phone, looked into the calender and calculated. 40 Days left. 40 Days. Significant for us Faithians. We've completed 40DoP in March 2006 - learning what is man's purpose in life. Just finished our 40DoC - telling us, we are made to help and serve our community.

In the bible, famous events such as 40Days and Nights in a smelly cruise. Noah lived with noisy passengers day and night.. Christ went into a sand-spa to be tempted. Of course.. planned failed. He came out stronger..

I want that. I want to enter into that 'wilderness' coming out stronger. 40 days means a significance in the Bible, and it should work for me too! 40DoP.. I'm gonna embark on it again. A joke came flying in my PCM saying.. 'Whao!! You get to discover God's purpose in my life after I come out of army!'.

This is for the evil one. You lost, and you are gonna lose again! *woots woots.. can I hear an amen...!*

Signing off,
Milton